Life Lessons No One Told You: Make Life’s Hard Lessons Count
I Want To Expand My Philosophy
Truth Revealed
Wisdom Earned
Wisdom in Motion
You’ve been “overthinking”. You’ve been second-guessing. You just want to figure things out without feeling like you’re drowning in self-help fluff. Wondering Chris is practical wisdom that actually sticks.
Questions That Shape a Wiser Life
Truth Revealed
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Wisdom Earned
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Know Better
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Truth Revealed • Wisdom Earned • Know Better •
The Lessons You Wish You’d Learned Sooner
Life doesn’t come with a cheat sheet, I wish it did, that is why I made Wondering Chris. I wanted to offer hard earned and hard learned wisdom that feels real, not fake, trite, or rehearsed. My Learned Wisdom posts, offer bite-sized philosophies to help you along your journey of self-discovery and self-development. Really, all the things I wish I had know. I’ve done the work, so you don’t have to.
Why Do We Keep Making the Same Mistakes?
Honestly? Because we were never taught how to learn from them. Wisdom isn’t just about avoiding failure because, truthfully, the act of change can be painful and scary - it’s about using what we know, and our learning process to find new, unexplored ways of being better and showing fresh and novel ways in our lives.
How Do You Stop Overthinking and Start Acting?
The word “overthinking” is a judgement that is delivered to us either by others or by ourselves. This judgement feels productive, but it’s often just fear in disguise. It would be easy enough for me to say “just take action” but you probably already know that. There is work we need to do together, as I suffer from this too, to help soothe, mend, and rectify some of our deepest insecurities around what lay beyond the fear. For me, it is being left behind and not being heard.
Although clarity comes from action, not analysis, you can find it tempting to hold yourself back because it feels safer. When we make judgments about ourselves in this “thinking” place we put ourselves down and overlook our insecurities that need to be taken care of.
So, welcome to Wondering Chris, a place where “overthinkers” are just thinkers. I hope you find something that soothes, mends, and reinforces.
Why Does Growth Feel So Uncomfortable?
Because it’s stretching you and pushing your boundaries. There is lots in this world we don’t know, and the unknown is exhilarating, fear inducing, and fascinating - not separately, but all at once. Growth is hard because at times we are actively pushing up against things that may have hurt or scared us in the past. What most people will hit you with is that “growth is worth it”, as though you have not put in the work. To me, if I try my hardest to focus on the opportunities that await me should I grow, it makes me more understanding when things go wrong. The process is only rewarding if you are not embittered by the processes. So take it slow, reflect on the things that are deeply uncomfortable, and make small steps that turn into a lot of momentum.
How Do You Know When It’s Time to Let Go?
This isn’t a simple question to answer, and you know what, that is ok. Letting go comes in many different domains - relationships in the form of breakups, financial decisions in terms of sunk cost, or change in the form of the fear you are holding onto. The idea of “letting go” may well be an incorrect metaphor. Much like with trauma, you never truly purge it entirely. It is more about figuring out the best way to cope with the grief of the thing no longer being in your life, and that weight will be lifted if you do. When things start costing you more that they give, it can be hard to relinquish them out of fear regarding lost opportunities, realised losses, or unsureness in what comes next. These all make sense. It takes time, practice and kind reflection to overcome this. The most predatory things is that businesses can exploit this, and sell you click bait that claims to solve the problems, but never do. So fight them, and let yourself reclaim this pain as something you can control! This blog is free, and it is for you. So join me, and learn something about how we can learn about ourselves, move forward, and take better control of our lives.
What’s the Difference Between Overthinking and Reflection?
Well, as I said before, “overthinking” is judgmental language to create fear that is intended to protect you. Reflection on the other hand is thought process you go through in a safe and loving space where you try your best to learn from your mistakes and let that wisdom guide you forward.
How Do I Know If I’ve Done Enough?
The learning journey is somewhat of an ongoing pursuit. There is no one, single thing that you can learn that will overcome all your obstacles. That being said, this is what makes learning so interesting. If you are learning every day you are uncovering the next piece of life's puzzle. If you pick the right problem to solve, define the right constraints, ask yourself what done looks like, and question everything you will find that "enough" is really up to you.
How Can I Be My Most Creative?
Being creative is a skill. As trite as the advice of “practice” sounds, there is some truth to it. Creativity is really a skill that is certered around constraint, the relationship between things, and the redesigning of things that already exist. Although these things may not be what you think of when you think about drawing, painting, game design, music, or writing but truthfully they are at the core. Imagine if I handed you two sticks and said that you had to create a religion where they were the central relics. Using your constraints in new and novel ways is how you exercise this skill.
Why Does Language Matter?
Language is the gateway to the stories and narratives we tell in our lives. I find the way a person talks says a lot about them, certainly about the way they talk about themselves. Using the word "Just" to pave over something hard or complicated, or using the word "But" as a shield from considering non-dualistic answers. Each of these word choices says a lot about what you think is possible and also provides a gateway into rectifying things you do not like. It also helps us to acknowledge other people and hold space for them, in gratitude for our privilege.
Lessons That Stick, So You Don’t Have to Keep Relearning Them
I spend a lot of time reading, researching, thinking, learning, reflecting, and consolidating my knowledge so that you can read it at any stage of your life and resonate. You deserve more than trite advice and mistakes that repeat. I hope that I can help you with, start with a couple of articles on:
đź’ˇOvercoming Overthinking:
đź’ˇMaking Wiser Decisions:
đź’ˇ Resilience & Growth:
What’s a Life Lesson You’ve Had to Learn the Hard Way?
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